Don’t let wedding pressure ruin your day!
As a wedding photographer I’ve been to over 250 weddings, but when I became a groom myself I realised something:
Weddings rock; the pressure involved sucks.
I thought I knew what to expect but two things came as a surprise. The day was better than I ever hoped, but the pressure before the day was immense. There’s the expectations from family about how the day will run, the expectation of whether the guests will enjoy it, whether the flowers will be beautiful, whether the party will be fun and of course whether the damn weather will be nice. I take issue with most of these, but for sure the most annoying and unjust is the weather. On arriving at a venue I once heard a guest say:
‘oh I feel so sorry for her that it’s raining.’
Nobody needs pity, they want to have a whale of a time no matter what and don’t need Debbie Downers moping about the weather before the day’s even started. Give it a chance!
Some of the best weddings I’ve been to have had solid rain all day, it’s simply about your attitude to it. Anybody who’s seen the film ‘About Time’ (my wife had it on…) might remember that they have torrential rain for their wedding but it’s hilarious fun. It’s ‘Hollywood levels’ romantic and it sure as hell would be memorable. Don’t let the worry get to you and certainly don’t worry about it on the day.
Plan for the worst, go with the flow and you’ll have the best time whatever happens.
‘The wrong attitude to have…’
I’ve seen a bride get to the top of the isle and gesture subtly with her finger as if she’s counting. At first I was confused but when I looked at her line of sight I realised she was counting the roses in the table arrangement. This is such a shame!
Enjoy visiting the florist, get excited discussing your hand-tied and choose all of your favourite colours to cover the venue in, but then just let yourself get lost in the day. You’ll know you’ve had a blast if you didn’t even notice the table arrangement. And that goes for a lot of things. I don’t personally mind which colour the napkins are, but when I’m asked whether I’d prefer Ivory or Gold napkins, I’m conflicted. I might think ‘ooh the gold will fit just perfectly’ and I picture the room with the lovely gold napkins. Suddenly I care!
And if the napkins were Ivory on the day I’d be tempted to think no, they’re all wrong! When initially there was no wrong, and actually it makes very very little difference to how much you enjoy the day. The truth is I can’t remember what colour they were…
What you think is going to be important before the day, isn’t what you enjoy most on the day – or at least it wasn’t for me.
Everything becomes so focused on details; the table plan, the place-names, the candles, that you start to lose focus on what’s important.
You forget that you’re going to have all of your family and friends in the same room together and how weird and awesome that will be. You forget that you can dance with any one of them that evening, give your grandad a twirl, put your niece on your shoulders! You forget that the flavour of the 3rd cake tier pales into insignificance when you compare it with the fact you’re going to promise to love and support your best friend forever, and you’ll create memories that will (with the help of great photos 😉 ) last a lifetime.
So, please don’t count the roses, please don’t worry about things out of your control and most importantly, please don’t feel like you have to please others:
The best weddings have the happiest couples, have an absolute blast whatever happens!